For some people, farting in public is not a big deal, but if you are like me, you will definitely find it an embarrassing ordeal. Embarrassing is actually an understatement if you consider releasing a organic stink bomb in the bus or family car which leaves everyone in the car gasping for fresh air and becomes a driving hazard due to steamy windows. What then is the best way to avoid continuous biological malfunctions of the butt hole?
Simply, just don’t stuff yourself with food,especially heavy, starchy food. Should you become hungry, stick to light snacks and fruit until you are arrive at a destination where you will be able to stop and “blow your horn” to your backside’s content. Do not bank on being able to hold it until you reach the next petrol station or your destination. Your gas chambers can only hold so much gas for so long. When that threshold is surpassed, make no mistake, the gas will explode no matter how hard you have tried to hold it.
Obviously its not just during the actual trip that you need to control your eating habits, you actually need to stop stuffing your face hours before you leave and have a thorough pooping session before you even enter the vehicle.
Final quick tips:
- Limit eating to light snacks (preferably fruit) before and during the drive
- Visit the lavatory to empty all tanks before leave
- Do not bank on holding it until the next stop, you never know when the big bang will occur
- Do not bank on the air-con or open window to whisk a fart away before anyone notices the smell. fart molecules are incredibly stubborn!
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